I'm depressed and I'm sitting here alone again. It's like I'm single; I have a bunch of cats, sitting here wasting time, eating chocolate and crying myself to sleep.

I went to this site: http://www.soundsfunny.org/thankyou.php
It made me feel a little better.

Shits and farts are becoming a theme of this site for some reason. I hang out with boys too much.

Sparkling Water Post

Well I went to Target today on my break. I bought some gum and Perrier. As I was sitting in my car drinking said Perrier I remembered something I must have blocked out during my European stint. Because I can't speak Czech, I sometimes bought things without really knowing what they were. It's like Borat but in reverse: funny American girl doesn't understand a foreign culture! So once, er maybe more than a dozen times I bought this sparkling water.


Granted not all the time, because this sparkling water was like 13 korun and for 1.5 koruna I could buy Tesco sparkling water. But sometimes when I was feeling spendy or drunk or recovering from being drunk I would buy it. I liked it cause it was kinda chalky. I believe this is due to the magnisium in it, or what I assume is magnesium. Magnesia=Magnisium?? Perhaps. But I think it makes you shit. That's the point I'm trying to make. I repeatedly bought shit water. It tasted good and it always made me feel better, due to it's magical cleansing properties. Of big ole shits.

Drunk Blog

I'm drunk. I had 4 beers, 1 glass of wine, and a shot of tequila rose. I'm only coherent enough to say that I had a really nice weekend. Sean and I made homemade pierogi and borscht yesterday and watched No Reservations all day. Today we went to Flint, and although I was dreading it, it was actually nice to see both families. And we got rid of some Christmas bullshit. I wish tomorrow didn't have to come. Sean will be working more hours, but at least we had a nice weekend in the meantime. I wish this blog wasn't so gay, but I'm full of liquids and cheesy sentiments.

xoxo.

Kitten Farts and Tussin

Aww fuck. I woke up last night and thought of this tight ass post to write. It was all about how I had done a shitton of Tussin before falling asleep and how the stupid cat woke me up by farting in my face. It was funny and insightful and topical. Somehow I don't remember those tussed up ramblings from about 4 this morning. I don't really remember anything. And putting it to words now it doesn't seem very funny or even mildly interesting. Well shit. Gonna drink a Miller High Life and eat chips and cheese.

Peace out, Faggots.

I should probably change the title of the blog

I hate when people tell me to smile. Don't tell me what to do. And plus why would I be walking around smiling? Crazy people, homeless people, and drunk people walk around smiling. Not normal people who are walking to the mail box.

My eyes hurt from looking at the computer all day and I think I put dirty underwear on this morning.

Oh yeah. Our neighbors suck. The jewy looking one in the attic was making all kinds of racket for a long time. Why would Anne Frank think that would be a good place to hide? I can hear you! Especially when you build IKEA furniture all day and shuffle around complaining about the price of bagels.