misc

Ching bing bong. I like the comment by "the man" the best. Czech it out!

http://www.buzzhumor.com/videos/5412/Asian_Girl_Fart_Fetish

Vaclav was just stretching and acting all around cute, but he was next to the nightstand and his fat ass knocked a bunch of shit over. He made a sound then fell back asleep.

I just heard the worst thing ever. I put Katy Perry's name into justhearit.com and like the second song on there was her covering "Electric Feel." Gay song to begin, even gayer with an acoustic guitar.

Ohmygod so bored. I should go to Bdubs.

2nd blingee

Glitter Graphics

blingee

Myspace Glitter Graphics

Cigarette Blog

About 5 minutes ago I was rolling a shit-ton of cigarettes and while doing so was weighing in my head the pros and cons of cigarette rolling. I thought it warranted a blog and since I haven't written in a while here we go.

Pros
-Cheaper
-The tobacco actually tastes and smells good
-I like that it justifies carrying around a cigarette case. This is not so much about looking cool to my many, many friends (read: cats, fiancee) but because I like being able to employ such an anachronistic item.

Cons
-I don't like rolling them
-Annoying
-I hate going into the tobacco shop full of hipsters and cock suckers who buy the same shit as me and then tote it over in their messenger bag to Cafe Ambrosia where they proceed to discuss the merits of rolling their own cigarettes before they go into the bathroom and jerk themselves off to their own hep image of theirselves in the mirror.
-I'm impatient and unless I roll a shit-ton of cigarettes at one time I don't like waiting for one to be rolled

oh oh hold on.....oh nevermind, thought that was my jitterbug.

-Usually makes me angry because they are a fucking bitch to roll

I'm depressed and I'm sitting here alone again. It's like I'm single; I have a bunch of cats, sitting here wasting time, eating chocolate and crying myself to sleep.

I went to this site: http://www.soundsfunny.org/thankyou.php
It made me feel a little better.

Shits and farts are becoming a theme of this site for some reason. I hang out with boys too much.

Sparkling Water Post

Well I went to Target today on my break. I bought some gum and Perrier. As I was sitting in my car drinking said Perrier I remembered something I must have blocked out during my European stint. Because I can't speak Czech, I sometimes bought things without really knowing what they were. It's like Borat but in reverse: funny American girl doesn't understand a foreign culture! So once, er maybe more than a dozen times I bought this sparkling water.


Granted not all the time, because this sparkling water was like 13 korun and for 1.5 koruna I could buy Tesco sparkling water. But sometimes when I was feeling spendy or drunk or recovering from being drunk I would buy it. I liked it cause it was kinda chalky. I believe this is due to the magnisium in it, or what I assume is magnesium. Magnesia=Magnisium?? Perhaps. But I think it makes you shit. That's the point I'm trying to make. I repeatedly bought shit water. It tasted good and it always made me feel better, due to it's magical cleansing properties. Of big ole shits.

Drunk Blog

I'm drunk. I had 4 beers, 1 glass of wine, and a shot of tequila rose. I'm only coherent enough to say that I had a really nice weekend. Sean and I made homemade pierogi and borscht yesterday and watched No Reservations all day. Today we went to Flint, and although I was dreading it, it was actually nice to see both families. And we got rid of some Christmas bullshit. I wish tomorrow didn't have to come. Sean will be working more hours, but at least we had a nice weekend in the meantime. I wish this blog wasn't so gay, but I'm full of liquids and cheesy sentiments.

xoxo.

Kitten Farts and Tussin

Aww fuck. I woke up last night and thought of this tight ass post to write. It was all about how I had done a shitton of Tussin before falling asleep and how the stupid cat woke me up by farting in my face. It was funny and insightful and topical. Somehow I don't remember those tussed up ramblings from about 4 this morning. I don't really remember anything. And putting it to words now it doesn't seem very funny or even mildly interesting. Well shit. Gonna drink a Miller High Life and eat chips and cheese.

Peace out, Faggots.

I should probably change the title of the blog

I hate when people tell me to smile. Don't tell me what to do. And plus why would I be walking around smiling? Crazy people, homeless people, and drunk people walk around smiling. Not normal people who are walking to the mail box.

My eyes hurt from looking at the computer all day and I think I put dirty underwear on this morning.

Oh yeah. Our neighbors suck. The jewy looking one in the attic was making all kinds of racket for a long time. Why would Anne Frank think that would be a good place to hide? I can hear you! Especially when you build IKEA furniture all day and shuffle around complaining about the price of bagels.